floggingchelsea

MEHRDAD GHAZI I LOVE YOU SO MMMMMMMUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

I took cutie for a ride in my death cab, she tipped me with a kiss, I dropped her at the meth lab. Before she left she made a dashboard confessional, and spilled her guts in cursive but whats worse is I could still see her bright eyes like sunny day real estate. Oh my and in a funny way the ceiling tastes, So high but no chance, My little chemical romance left a bad taste in my mouth. But I approached her like hey Mercedes why the long face? Why you cryin? There's no need. Just put on this coheed and fallout. Boy meets girl, jimmy eat world, But Schlep eats pills till hes all out. Not once not twice she was thrice times a lady, Mackin' on brand new, but I had to bounce over to the postal service to pick up these pills that take care of my nervousness, and all the way I saw planes and mistook 'em for stars. She played games but she took them too far at the drive in. Watching soft porn and you can tell by the trail of the dead, that there was something in the popcorn. I hop in my cab destination midtown just to get up with some kids that like to get down. I'd made my rounds and that was that. In between the frowns and scraps and heart attacks, and I remember I seen her ass in early November on a Thursday taking back Sunday for a refund. She shot a wink like no hard feelings, then she jetted to Brazil man them pills had me spun.

I'm supposed to go to Mehrdad's house really early tomorrow and hang out all day, but I think he will probably still be sleeping, so I'm going to have to wait until tomorrow afternoon. I'm okay with that. At least I will get to see him :].

I'm in such a great mood lately. I mean, I've been thinking a lot about things I don't like even in the slightest, but the way I see it is I can't prevent it from happening. I think I'd lose more than I'd gain out of that. But, I'm happy. I'm very happy. For the past three days, I haven't let anything get to me at all. It's nice.

I've been thinking a lot about my past. I miss being close to a group of friends. I had that.. last year, I guess. I had this group of friends who had all been friends since elementary school, and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, that's over with. It's sad. I miss having a big group of people to be able to talk to about anything.

I have to find a way to make money fast before Mehr's birthday. I know what I'm getting him, I just don't know where to find it. But I know it's going to be a lot of money.

Adieu'.

I have been happy all day. Absolutely nothing has gone wrong.

I've got a great boyfriend. :]
My family is pretty great.
I think I'm going to record some music at some point. That would be cool. I need feedback.
I want to go shoppingggg. I found a cute outfit.


I'm so smiley. :]

School's going alright. Well. Not really. But, oh well. School isn't for everyone, and I have never been a school person. But, that's okay. I can get a full time job.

I want to be successful. That's kind of hard to do. Especially in this economy. But, I think I can do it. I've just got to meet the right people.

I would love to have a car. That would make the whole job thing a lot easier. I'm gonna go look for jobs online now, then sleep. Night, online world.

Last night I went to Glenn's for a bon fire thing. It was nice. For the first few hours, it was me, Juliana, Mehrdad, and Glenn, then a couple of hours, around 12:30 I think, Edna came by. We sat by the fire for about another hour or so then we left. It was nice hanging out with people. I haven't hung out with a lot of people in a while.

Tonight is Edna's party. I'm still not sure if I'm going. I might be leaning more towards a no. I'm not feeling good at all and the party starts pretty late. I don't know.

I'm so bored right now. I can't take it.

Adieu'.

What a stressful week, I'm glad it's over.

I'm going to Fastbreaks. I like going there. It's a good way to end the week.

Me and Mehrdad are doing great. I'm glad we're dating. I think we're lasting a while.

I watched a documentary on N.W.A tonight. It was pretty good. I didn't get to see the whole thing, I'd like to. I saw like the last half of it.

Hm. I've really got nothing.
I don't think I'm doing too well in college.
I don't really hang out with anyone anymore. I don't really want to lately, I guess. I don't know what it is. I'm pretty sick of people bitching at me about it, though. If I wanted to chill with you I would. There are just a select few people I'd be alright with hanging out with. I've really just been with Mehrdad lately. I like it, I guess. He's my best friend.

I need a job. Before Christmas. -_-; Mehr's birthday will be here sooner than I think, too.

Adieu'.

Today sucks. It just started, and I already know it's going to be a bad day. argh.

I also had a bad night. it sucked. :[.

Things will get better, though. These are all just a series of small events that are all adding up, I guess.

Adieu'.

I'm tired, bored, and don't know what to talk about. I guess I'll just sort of.. type.

My birthday was last Saturday. It was a good time. I haven't seen my family in a bit, so it was nice seeing them. Mehrdad took me and Andrew to Kobes. It was very nice of him. It was so delicious.

My parents bought me this record player that plays records, CDs, tapes, and my MP3 player. It's pretty cool.

I've been really starting to dislike some people recently. They're just getting annoying, and obnoxious, and nothing like they were when I first met them. It sucks. But, that's how it works, I guess.

I've been listening to a lot of Gym Class Heroes recently. They're pretty good.

Mm. I don't know anything else.
Adieu'.

Hey online world. I guess I'm just bored. I'm outside of mehr's class waiting for him to get out :].

This weekend has been a waste of a weekend for me. Hopefully I get to hang out with Mehrdad today. I, for some reason, don't really see that happening though.

I've been applying at so many places and not one phone call. :/. I need a job. Something to keep me occupied. And something I can save up with to finally just move out. I'd like to move out. That'd be nice. Sometime soon would be much nicer. I've got to save up first though.

Hm.
I don't have anything to talk about. I'll go take pictures.
Adieu'.

Drop out of school, get married to the love of my life, and travel with him for most of the time. After a few months I would come home, spend time with him and my family, have family dinners, hang out with mehr's family a lot, get to know them better, pray a lot, sleep with mehr every night, and have the best six months of my life ever. I would hope that I wouldn't ever have to find out when I'm supposed to die, that would just be terrifying. I would hope that me and Mehrdad would never have to rush anything because of a situation like that.

I stayed the night at Juliana's with AJ, Mikey, and Glenn. It was an awesome time. Now Jul is making red beans and rice. Mmm :]. I wish Mehr could have come, it would have been a lot of fun with him here, but it was still fun none the less.

I'm in love. :].
I turn 19 soon. Weird.

Adieu'

Hm. Imagine that. You do something stupid and end up feeling stupid afterward.

Today was an alright day. Boyfriend cut his hair. He looks gooooood. Started out pretty bad, ended up getting worse when I got home. But, things happen. I really hate when I try talking to people about things and they just don't listen or act like they don't care, or that their problem is so much more important than mine. Especially when these are people I always listen to and always try my best to give advice to, but they, for some reason, can't do the same for me.

I also think it's weird when people obsess over other people. It's... a little dumb, going out of your way to get noticed.

I'm tired. I should have done math homework today. It's due on Thursday. I haven't done any of it. :\.

Mehr's at work. Good for him :]. I called Pizza Hut today after I applied. The lady told me to call tomorrow. I hope I get it, or any job really. I'm about to go apply for more. I need a job, I'm running low on cash.

Speaking of cash, I don't know what it is, but I've seen 3 people in the past week or so whip out their money and just start counting it in front of everyone. It's kind of rude. I don't like when people do that; It's like they're bragging that they've got money.

I'm turning 19 soon. Weird. I thought I was just 12 yesterday. But, I'm excited about it.

I wanna move outt. I wanna get marrieddd. I think I know just the guy to make that happen :p.

Hm. I guess I don't have a lot to say. Might go to Josh's this Saturday night. Might hang out with Ken on Wednesday. Might be fun. Might not be. Who knows.

Adieu'

Yes, as a matter a fact, I did. It wasn't he was addicted to Cigs which don't affect you until the long run. He was addicted to various drugs and ended up dying because he was under the influence. So if you were wondering why I don't do drugs; there's a prime example. I wouldn't continue doing that after someone I was close with died from it. I guess it affected our relationship because he died and I could never see him again.

Love you, boy.

I need to go to Church sometime. I haven't been in a very long time :[.

I can't wait for the holidays. I don't know what it is about them, but I absolutely love the atmosphere. Everything is so positive. Mmm. I'm very excited for it. Also, I'll get to see a lot of family. I love seeing my family.

I was supposed to do laundry yesterday, I think I'll do that today. I need to if I want to wear clothes today. Lol.

I'd like to go see Mehrdad today. I might do that instead of watch the game, but I wouldn't have a ride home. Tomorrow seems like my best bet, I suppose. Maybe he'll want to come over to watch the game. My family loves having him over. I guess I do too ;].

I'm in my P.J's still. I literally have no clothes left to wear. I really, really should do laundry, like, now.

I might cut my hair today :].
Adieu'.

My oldest friend would be Audrey. We don't see eachother at all anymore, seeing as she's married and lives in washington now. I had a pretty close group of friends for 6 years then all that changed last year. I guess I tend to change friends over time.

I currently don't really have a best friend. I have a couple of friends I can tell things to, but we don't see eachother much. I guess my best friend now would be Mehrdad. He's really the only one I can be myself around, and the only one who truly listens to me.

Adieu'.

Today sucks. But, at least I feel better. And I got my financial aid refund today. But, I woke up kind of in a bad mood, checked my texts and saw that mehrdad got home at 5:30 in the morning, went downstairs, tried to eat, threw it up. I smoked the last cigarette out of my pack and talked to AJ who said that he tried to call Mehr, but apparently, Mehr's phone was off. At around 12:45, I tried calling him, but he's still sleeping. I don't blame him after being out so late, though. I guess today isn't a bad day, its just not great. I had plans with Mehrdad, but we'll see if that happens I guess. I sorta hope he's up soon, it would help to hear his voice.

Now, I'm laying in my room with insence burning and listening to Rodrigo y Gabriela. I've got a super bad feeling about today for some reason.

I wanna drink, but there's no one to drink with. Mehr's friend Shane said I should go to beer pong saturday tonight. I don't think I'll be going, I wouldn't have a ride home and I'd know a total of, like, 3 other people there.

I had an astronomy test last thursday. I think I failed. I had a dream that I got a 47 percent. Much better than what I thought I was gonna get. I've got a test in math on monday. I hate that class. I feel so stupid in there, and it doesn't help when you have people telling you that you're not going to pass. Fuck you for saying that.

Someone made a joke yesterday that I'm a "college failure." It hurt. Because I've decided to withdraw from college success. Blah. Thanks.

I might hang out with Juliana later. That would be nice. Get my mind off of things I guess.

I'm super stressed out. I know you are to, but you're always venting to me, and the one time I go to vent to you, you say things that imply that you're more stressed. I get it, but you're not the only one going through a hard time.

This has been too much complaining.
Adieu'.

Tomorrow, I'm gonna wake up, get ready, go to school, go to my first class, get out and get some kisses from this boy I know <3, call edna since I couldn't today (sorry girl, studying a lot for a test), go to my next class at 2, go home, do homework, sleep, and repeat :).

I don't know why, but all of that sounds pretty perfect.

I had a pretty good day today. Woke up and washed the pups, took them to get their nails snipped, possibly got a part time job, took them to the dog park with my brothers and my father, went home, chilled, went to taco bell with andrew, came home and chilled some more, studied, studied, talked to mehr, studied, had a cig, talked to mehr a little more and now I'm going to sleep.

Goodnight, everyone. Keep it beautiful.

Adieu'.

I love you, I love you, I love you. Thanks for making yesterday and last night so fun :].

I went to Mehrdad's house yesterday. We chatted, and played video games, and played cards, and oh my goodness :]. I'm in love. I haven't ever had this much fun all the time with anyone else.

School's going alright. I like College. But, its stressing me out a lot. But, I'm okay with it :]. My life is amazing, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Adieu'.

I had such a great time last night. me and Mehr went on a double date with Glenn and Juliana. We went bowling then went to Denny's.

I really love Mehr. :]. I talk about things with him that I could never tell anyone else. He's my best friend <3.

I want a car. >:/.

Adieu'.